Sonic 4 Episode 1: The Phantom Hedgehog

Okay so I bought Sonic 4: Episode 1 the other day. I want to talk about it briefly, and I say briefly because...well there is not much to say about it. Is it good? Well that is really up to what you want out of a game that promises a return to form for Sonic the Hedgehog, whose image has been roofied, bent over while passed out, and raped viciously in the ass without protection, giving the small blue hero a maliciously resistant strain of HIV. So in the end what you're really asking, is the promise of a return to form a good one? Compared to the loads of dog shit Sega has shoveled at us for years now, yes. Is it a good game on its own? Meh, kinda, not really. Read on for something more detailed than...meh.



It's a Sonic game, that is for sure, very much in the vein of Sonic 1-3. It has that fresh coat of HD paint, showing crisp 2-d and a half graphics with surprisingly boring and repeated backgrounds. Looking past anything in the foreground brings about what can be only described as a pit of...copy paste. I have no idea if this was a nod to the retro...or just laziness. Sonic himself looks good, with full animations for his running, and his odd, T-1000 like walk he does leading up to running. I dunno, mixed bag in the graphics area, the foreground stuff is nice, Sonic is nice, backgrounds suck and you only see like 2 enemy types per stage (That I get though...as your speed really keeps you from analyzing any enemy for too long).

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Speaking of speed, when you can keep it up, the game plays great, as Sonic always did. However I find there are way too many stop points, arbitrary walls keeping Sonic from doing his thing. There are even entire stages like this, where speed is kept to a minimum, like the second temple stage, where you are cast into pitch-blackness, the only light coming from a torch Sonic has in his hand. This level is definitely the worst, where you are required to solve a bunch of idiotic puzzles using torches on the wall to cast more light and activate platforms. This isn't fucking Zelda, I play Sonic because I want to run fast. On top of that the game gets pretty platform-heavy at points, treating Sonic too much like he was some very blue form of Mario. At least Mario always controls well. Sonic however, cannot keep forward momentum on a forward jump if you let go of the d-pad. He drops straight down, like a rock, for absolutely no reason. Actually in doing this, the Sonic team took physics and shit all over their laws.When they did this, they made a situation where precision platforming was turned into something that borders on impossible.

Worst part of the game though from what I can tell is that it is only four worlds. Well four actual worlds, and the ability to replay any Chaos Emerald stages. I really hope four more are revealed...but I doubt they will be. I get this is episode one also, but for 15 dollars I feel like I was ripped off. While the game plays like the Sonics of old, it brings literally nothing new to the table and wallows in what came before way too much. There is almost no reason to spend 15 dollars on the game if you already have the old Sonic games, as this one will not really be standing the test of time like that which came 16 years previous.